Friday, June 1, 2012

Helping a Friend

Everyone goes through difficult times in life. I have had several friends go through unimaginable things, but I don't know if I was there for them the way I could have been. However, I also think it is hard to know what a friend in a major life crisis would want. Unless of course you have been through a hard time in your life yourself. Hopefully this list will give you some ideas to help your friend. Not all of these will apply so take what you can from this list. I would love to know how you help your friends when things seem impossible.

Just show up at her house(well, I guess call to see if she is there first). She probably isn't going to ask you to come over. And if you ask her if she wants you to come over she probably won't come right out and say yes then either. She doesn't want to seem like she is bothering you and she knows you are busy with your own family too.

Call her. It is ok to ask about the situation as much as you want to hear about it. She doesn't want to feel like she is always talking about it. But if you ask and really want to know she will probably share with you.

Meals are good. Especially child friendly lunches and dinners. There are probably days even thinking about making a meal seems impossible for her.

Talk to her about other things too. She still wants to know what you are up to or what is going on in your life. Even if you feel like what you are dealing with at the time is so small compared to what is going on in her life. She still wants to be your friend and wants to talk to you.

When your friend opens up and shares what is going on in her life be sure you don't share with other people. She definitely doesn't want to seem like the latest gossip topic. And has probably chosen to confide in you because she trust you.

Call her! But also call and pray for her out loud over the phone. Hearing your prayers lifted up by you for her family and situation can be a big encouragement. Text or email her encouraging scripture or quotes. And  funny ones are good too.

Don't ever feel like you are bothering her with calls & text. The moment God puts her on your mind call or text. She is probably having a melt down right at that moment. And chances are time doesn't matter either. During major life struggles sleep seems to be something you don't get much of.

She knows  you don't have all the answers, but she might really want your opinion too.

And never underestimate the power of a sweet card in the mail or a quick text or email just to say you are thinking about them. Because it is possible she feels all alone in her situation.

What do you do for your friends during a difficult time?  What has helped you when life was hard?

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